Final grades

Ok well I got my final grades in for the semester, finally! I got a 4.0 in my writing class and in my child development class, and in my math I got a 3.0! Aloooooooot better than I thought I would be getting.

Now I can relax and take it easy the rest of Christmas break. We are starting to get our shopping finished up, and now to get them wrapped. I've been trying to catch up on my Christmas movies.

Christmas eve we are going to my parents and having dinner with them and my sisters, and exchanging gifts. Then Christmas morning Mike and I will do our family gifts with the boys, and that afternoon we are driving to Lansing for a big extended family dinner and gift exchange. Lots of gifts going around that day! I hope the boys have fun.

Thanksgiving

It's Thanksgiving, and the turkey smells great! I got up about 8 this morning, since the boys stayed up late so they slept in. That was nice. I got the turkey all cleaned and stuffed with stove top stuffing and in the oven by 9am. It'll be coming out around 4pm. It's a big bird! I made an apple and a pumpkin pie last night, and still have two more to make but it can wait til tonight. Potatoes are cut up and ready to be cooked and mashed, green bean casserole is put together and in the fridge waiting to be cooked, frozen corn in the freezer and premade biscuits to be cooked, and I am making my own gravy from the turkey broth once it comes out. MMMM I cant wait for dinner!

Craig should be arriving right around 4, and is eager to watch the football game. Apparently he is a big Saints fan and this is their first time playing the Thanksgiving game, so he is excited.

Soon after dinner I am taking Jacob and Nathan over to Mom and Dad's to see the rest of my family. My sisters and cousins are over there today and want to see the boys. We will visit for an hour or two and then head back home.

Mike's brother Jason has a webcam on his XBOX360, and Mike is going to do a videochat with his family tonight so they can see the boys today as well. It should be a fairly nice and relaxing day once I get dinner all finished up, and then clean up afterwards.

Time still flies!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've done any blogging!! I've been so busy with school, studying, and trying to spend time with the boys. It's November now, and it snowed for the first time in my area today. That is when I really realized how much time has gone by. I'm halfway done with the semester already. I've got alot to talk about today!

Like I said, the semester is half over now, and I am doing pretty well in most of my classes. All but, you guessed it, math. I am skirting by with a 2.0 so far and it is getting even harder. But, in ChildHood Development and Writing I have a 4.0! I sat down with an academic advisor yesterday to create a schedule of all the classes I need to take and when to take them to get my associates degree. It will take me through Spring of 2013. Yep, three years!!!! When I started this, I thought two years was a long time to be in school. Sigh, oh well.

I will be taking a spanish class and an american sign language class in my last year. I am looking forward to that, I have always wanted to be able to speak spanish, and the asl will help Jacob with what he can't say. I already know a little sign, just certain words and the alphabet. I will try brushing up more over the next two years so I can have a head start when I finally get there.

Well, on Monday the 8th is Mike and my anniversary. Seven years now! Like I said, time flies! We already celebrated back over Labor day when we went away for a weekend, because we knew we wouldn't have time during the school semester. Also, we knew that by now we wouldn't have alot of money left! I still wanna do a little something on the actual day of our anniversary though, even if it is just a card. I guess we'll have to see what we can swing. We both have to be at school all day Monday, so it certainly won't be romantic.

Mike's friend Craig is driving up to spend Thanksgiving weekend with us. His family is down in Florida and he doesn't have the time to fly there for such a short time, so we invited him here. Which means I will be in charge of our Thanksgiving dinner this year. I've done it all myself before, but that was only with ONE baby and no school! Mike and I both have to be at school all day before Thanksgiving, so prepping ahead of time will have to be done that Tuesday if I can. Wish me luck!

Time flies

Wow, I can't believe it's October already! I've been in school for a month now, and I haven't gone completely crazy! I'm doing pretty well with most of my classes. Math is still a difficult subject for me. I'm barely pulling a 2.0, which is a passing grade at least. I just hope I stay at least around there, or even higher. I don't want to have to take this class over again. But, I need to know it.

I'm learning all kinds of fascinating information in the Child Development class. Most of what they are going over I already knew, just from background experience with kids. But, now I know what the technical terms are. I've had my first child observation, out of 6. Just turned in the report Wednesday, so I still need to find out what my grade is on that. I have another one this coming Tuesday, and then my third on Thursday. Wish me luck!

Grades

Well, I had an essay that was returned on Monday with a current grade. I got 36 out of an available 50 points on it. I was pretty happy about that! What the teacher does is grade the essay, leave comments and tips on how to improve it and return it to us. We can then resubmit the essay to her as many times as we want before our portfolio is due at the end of the semester, to try getting a higher grade. I like that, because I can keep raising my score til I'm satisfied.

I also had a pop quiz on Monday in math. I haven't received the grade for it yet though, so I am pretty anxious to see how I did. I feel as if I understood what I was doing, and did most everything correctly, but I won't know for sure til they post the grades.

I have a test in Child Development tomorrow going over the first 5 chapters we've studied so far. I am working on drilling the terminologies into my head, so hopefully I will do well. Please pray for me to have a clear head about this.

The boys are really starting to miss me. I've been gone at classes so much, and gone for three days over the Labor day weekend. And when I am home, I'm studying instead of spending time with them. It is beginning to affect Nathan most. All he wants is me, no matter what is going on. Jacob is getting upset anytime we are getting ready to go somewhere, because he thinks we are going to disappear for two days. Please pray they aclimate quickly to this new lifestyle, and that they have peace of mind that I will always come back home to them.

Studying and Birthdays

I have my two younger cousins over today. They are watching the boys for me so I can catch up on my studying. I have a quiz and a test coming this Wednesday, and I really need to make sure I know this stuff. The math I am actually understanding, it's just getting through all the assignments before Wednesday that I'm having a hard time with. And the Child Development I also know well and understand, but they use all these terminologies for every stinking thing a child does!!! I worry I won't remember them all, and like, every single one will be on the test. So, it's really a matter of understanding which terminology means which thing and then remembering it.

Tomorrow is my cousin's birthday, one of the girls who are here today. My whole family will be taking both my cousins back to Lansing, where they live, and going to a nice steakhouse buffet for her birthday. She is turning 14 tomorrow, and is already in Highschool. I just can't believe it! I held her the day she was born. *Sigh* I feel so old....

Holiday weekend

Well, Mike and I didn't have classes on Labor day. So, we decided to get a hotel out of town and get away. Mom and Dad kept the boys for us, and we left Sunday morning and just got back an hour or two ago (Tuesday.) It was nice and relaxing, sleeping in without the kids waking us up all night. We went and saw a bunch of movies, and ate at a bunch of restaurants. It was so fun. I really needed it.

College life

Well, my first week of college is done. I was overwhelmed at first with the math class. I almost started crying, but I held it in like a big girl! I couldn't understand anything the teacher was lecturing on. I started wondering if I had a right to even be there, as dumb as I felt. Finally, after the second day I was talking to another lady in my class and she told me about my textbook which is online. I can go there and watch a video presentation and read the text, practice problems. Once I did that, things started making ALOT more sense to me.

My writing class is kinda fun, I've already written two essays, and have another assigned that is due next Wednesday. Alot of reading assignments, but some of the reading is actually really interesting. I think I'm having the most enjoyable time in this class.

And my Childhood Development class, which is my major subject, I am doing ok in. I'm kinda behind on the reading assignments, but I am dutifully working through it. I'm kind of worried I won't be able to remember all the terms they use for things. I just got to keep studying and commiting it to memory.

Minivan

Well, we got our student grants and loans in. We did all the necessary stuff like buying books and school supplies and all. Then we headed to a local car sales place and checked out a few minivans. We figured it would be a good idea to have a second car, that way if one breaks down, we aren't stuck without a car and no way to get to school.

We found a nice 1998 Chevy Venture for 2,000. It's in pretty good condition, but we'll need to get the a/c worked on. We went ahead and bought it outright, I don't want to have any payments to deal with. It's nice to have some extra room for when we go shopping with the boys. I'm happy with it.

Classes for me start on Monday. Please pray that I do well.

Flight

Well, Jason was supposed to come in yesterday, but his flight was canceled due to mechanical failure. Thank God they found it before they went up! He's been rescheduled on a flight for today, and he will now be leaving next Sunday instead of Saturday.

Only one more week before my fall classes begin. I am getting nervouse, I'm afraid I will fail miserably in the math course. Please pray for my patience in learning, and a clear mind to comprehend what I am being taught.

My financial aid will come in on Wednesday, and then I can go buy my school books. I wish I could get them sooner, and start studying ahead of time. I need all the help I can get!!

Jason

My brother in law, Jason, is coming to visit Mike for a week. He arrives this Saturday. He's a sweet guy, and can be fun to hang out with. I know Mike is looking forward to him getting here and spending time with him. They haven't seen each other since Jan 09.

While he is here, we will be checking out a bunch of restaurants, going to Craig's Cruisers, possibly Chuck E. Cheese, and who knows what else!?! Mike and Jason will be going to see alot of their guy movies, and playing video games here at home.

I'm glad Mike has this chance to see his brother and spend time with him. Now we just need to get his sister here!

Orientation

So, Mike and I had orientation last night for college. They talked a bit about when the school got started, how many people attend each year, why it is a smart choice to go there, all that stuff. I thought "We drove all the way here for this?" Then they started giving us a tour of the campus, showing us all the little things I never knew about, where all the places to get food were, best places to hangout and study. And I started thinking "OK, this is good information!"

It's alot of walking to get everywhere you need to be. I have three classes Mondays and Wednesdays, and each one is in a different building. Alot of stairs, alot of walking, alot of the time! I may very well get my exercise in whether I choose to or not! And alot of the food they seem to serve at the cafeterias seem fairly healthy enough. No McDonalds or Taco Bells, there are some sandwich places, a Blimpies, and a place where our tour guide says serves "real food." This pleased me alot, I was worried I would end up eating alot of junk food if I didn't brown bag each day. There are ways to get junk, vending machines all over, coffee shops with sugary specialties. I just have to continue practicing self-control and only order what I should instead of what I want!

The boys spent the night at Mom's last night, since our orientation went til 9pm. When Mike and I got home it was so relaxing. We made dinner, watched a movie, and went to bed. Of course, Mike kept thinking he was hearing the baby waking up! Funny how we get used to hearing things. Today, I caught up on much needed sleep. I'm starting to feel a little more human again. I forgot how good it feels to sleep all the way through the night with no interruptions. And to actually sleep at least 8 hours! I need to do that a few more times before school starts if I want to get my mind working right!

Ionia Free Fair

Well, we're right smack dab in the middle of the ten days of the Ionia Free Fair. Largest Free Fair in the world. I've been there three times now! I won't ride any of the rides though, for two reasons. 1. I'm not willing to pay their prices for those rides and 2. With my back issues I really shouldn't be doing it.

Although, the fair does have a pretty decent ride all day armband deal. $20 to ride unlimited rides all day. If you purchase them before the fair starts, you can get them for $12. They also have these mega passes that are only for sale in November and December that let you ride unlimited rides the whole ten days of the fair! I don't know how much those are yet.

I am taking all four of my cousins, and our boys, to the fair on Thursday. They are very excited, we did it last year and have been planning this years adventure for a long time now. Mike and I will be chaperoning, along with both my sisters. My Mom will join us later in the day, as she has a meeting in the early afternoon. I'm not quite sure if I'm up for this now. My cousin's ages range from 12 to 14 yrs. old. And three of them are girls! Sigh. Teenagers are not easy to deal with. Wish me luck!

Bored

I am so bored. I've had nothing to do for almost a week now. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. I've been entertaining myself watching movies and tv shows on dvd. But I've pretty much run out of those. I've read all my books at least once, if not more. I've been so bored I haven't even had anything to blog about!

Last Saturday Nathan threw my cell phone into a cup of water, submerging it. So, it stopped working. I was so upset. I knew buying a new phone would be to expensive for me to afford right now. Plus, it's my only phone. We don't have a home phone. So, this last week I couldn't even call anyone to chit chat. I had to wait to see if anyone got on Facebook.

I've only been outside once since last Saturday, and that was just to go shopping for groceries. So, it doesn't really count. I was wanting to go to lunch with Mom yesterday, but by the time I got her on FB, Dad had already left to work with the car. So we couldn't do that.

My sister, Amber, found an old verizon cell phone that she brought to town last night. She was going to charge it up and transfer my account to that phone. Someone told me last week about putting the phone in rice for a few days and it would absorb the water from the phone. That sounded silly, but I figured rice is cheaper than a new phone. So I tried it. I kept it in the rice for 5 days, and finally pulled it out last night and put it all back together. Pushed the power button and.... Nothing. I was so disappointed, I was really hoping it would work. Then this morning Mike tells me, "I plugged your phone in to charge, and it came on!" !!!!! Yaaaay! My phone is now working.

Indiana

Well, Mike is in Indiana right now. He left yesterday. A friend of his from Florida is in the Army Reserves, and finally got a job position for recruiting. But, he has been stationed in Indiana. So, he just drove in yesterday from Florida, and his stuff is being shipped by the Army for him. Mike decided to drive down there and visit him before he started his job. He is only about a four hour drive from us, which makes Mike pretty happy.

They are staying at a hotel, and today they should be apartment shopping together, looking very much like a gay couple!!!! Then they will do some furniture shopping and all that. He was living in a furnished apartment in Florida, so he is going to need everything. Mike is looking forward to helping him out with getting settled. I hope they find a place this weekend, so he doesn't have to live out of a hotel for very long.

Now is a good time for Mike to be there, before college starts. Once we begin, there won't be time to visit anyone until Christmas break, at least. And then things will be busy for Christmas, so who knows what we'll be doing for fun?!?!

Summer School

Well, today was Jacob's first day of Summer school. He goes twice a week, Tuesday and Thursdays. He really needs to be going all week, because school gives him stability. He wakes up, and he knows it's time to get dressed and go wait for the bus. He has a regular routine at school, and when he gets home he does the same things. It keeps him going. He's been going nuts these last few weeks since school has been over. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He hasn't been sleeping well, he's been getting testy, and being mean to Nathan. He had a hard time falling asleep last night, and was very tired today. His paraeducator said that he had a nice calm day. I'm glad it went well.

Yesterday, things weren't going well for any of us. Jacob kept picking and bullying Nathan, so I kept having to discipline him and he would get upset. Nathan was upset because of the bullying. I was upset because I had two upset boys, and I was in alot of pain. Finally, we all lost it. All three of us. We sat on Jacob's bed, and cried and cried and cried for about five minutes. Then Nathan perked up and tried being cute, while Jacob and I kept crying! I tell you though, it's hard to continue being miserable while Nathan is sticking his smiling little face in mine and giving me kisses!

Sunday the boys spent the day at my parents, while my sisters were visiting. Mike and I stayed home and cleaned the boys' room almost thoroughly! Which is why I was in so much pain yesterday. We have two big boxes of toys we are donating, and still several big boxes of toys to go through. We need to get rid of about 95% of the toys we have. They don't get played with, just stepped on. When the boys got home Sunday night, I could just tell they were thinking "Where's all our stuff?" I followed them into the bedroom and showed them where we put their toys away, and books are on the bookshelf. I tell you, it's alot easier to get them to clean up their room when it isn't so bad!

Fireworks

Mike and I weren't able to see the fireworks here in town. Mike was working, and I wasn't up to taking the boys out myself, so we skipped it. But tonight in a town about 20 minutes away are more fireworks! So, the plan is for us to take the boys there tonight, play at the McDonald's playland until its late enough, and then go watch the fireworks. This will be Nathan's first time seeing them. There were to many mosquitoes out last year to let him watch. So, this should be fun watching his reaction.

Classes

Ok, it's all set up now! I went down to the community college I will be attending this morning, and did my assessment tests. I got level 5 reading, level 4 writing, and level 3 mathematics. I knew I would do the worst on math! After I did that, I was able to pick the classes I was eligible to take.

So, I went over to a different building, after being escorted there from the opposite side of campus after getting lost! I am taking three classes, each one I go to twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays. I will have a full day those days, but that leaves the rest of the week for studying and assignments, and hopfully spending time with my boys.

I also found out that my FAFSA went through. The entire semester is paid for, and I will be getting quite a bit back for school supplies! I was very happily surprised to find this out! I certainly won't need to apply for student loans. So hopefully, if it stays the same the whole two years, I can finish school without owing anything!
That would be great.

Please pray for me to do well through school, and to get a 2.5 GPA or higher. I have to maintain that in order to still get financial aid. My life should be pretty interesting these next two years!

School

Mike is going back to college, which is something I've been thinking about for a year or so. We went to LCC yesterday so Mike could do his assessment testing and talk with the advising and counseling staff, figure out financial aid, all that stuff. He can sign up for classes tomorrow morning.

Well, being there helped me to realize that I wouldn't be the only older person there. Most people my age have probably already finished college, and I didn't want to go and feel old! But I saw alot of people there older than me!!!

So, I talked it over with Mike, and decided I am going to go to college! I am gearing towards child development, maybe special education. They have alot of grants they are giving away to Moms for going back to school. Between financial aid, and special grants for being a Mom, I should get away with not paying much for school.

I am nervous. I'm not very smart, did horrible in Highschool. I'm afraid I will flunk out the first semester. I have to take an assessment test before I can sign up for classes on Friday, and I swear that computer will start luaghing at me! Either that or blow up. Please pray I learn quickly and do well.

Movie

Ok, Mike and I watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs last night off the Netflix instant queue. What can I say about it? It was weeeeeiiiiiird. A safe family movie, and it kept me entertained, but very very weeeeeiiiiird. Worth watching, kids would like it. Jacob even watched some of it with interest, but he might have just been interested in the food! It's not something I would probably watch again, but I'm glad I finally saw it.

Oh well

Mike and I had made plans to go see Karate Kid last night. I arranged to have the boys sleep over at my parents. I was so excited, because I LOVE Jackie Chan movies! He is awesome, and Jaden Smith is such a cute little boy and a great actor. He was so good in Pursuit of Happyness. (No, I'm not mispelling it, that is how the movie is titled!)

Anyway, I wake up yesterday with a horrible migraine. Lasted just about all day, I was so miserable. I take Imitrex when I get them, but it is a preventative medicine, to be taken when it is first coming on. I woke up with it full blown. I took it anyway, but it didn't do much.

So, we didn't go see the movie. But the boys did stay with my parents anyway. I wouldn't have been able to take care of them the way I was feeling. I was soooo looking forward to seeing that movie. And the worst part, the migraine was just about gone by the time we would have left to go see it!

Settle down

Well, it has been such a busy weekend! I had Nathan's surgery on Friday, then my cousin's bridal shower on Saturday. Sunday I had another cousin of mine graduate from the 8th grade, and also had my accident! More on that in a bit. Then Monday I was in bed all day in pain, due to the accident. And Tuesday was another cousin of mine 8th grade graduation. Of course, every activity was in either Lansing or another place half hour away. I finally feel like I can settle down and get back into my normal routine. I've missed seeing the boys this weekend. Mike stayed home with them so I could go to everything.

Well, as far as the accident goes, we're not quite sure what happened. I was driving down Saginaw and was coming up on the street I needed to turn down, so I hit my brakes to slow down...... Nothing happens! I'm freaking out, and hitting and hitting the pedal and I am not stopping. There were cars ahead of me, and I thought "I'm going to hit someone!" So, I decided to try turning down a side street so I wouldn't be around traffic. Now, all this happened in a time span of about ten seconds or so, going 40 miles an hour. So, I make the turn, more or less, and go up over the curb and just barely miss hitting a light pole. Blew out my tire. Ironically, the brakes started working after that! We don't know why they weren't working for me.

Well, we are driving around on a donut until we can buy a new tire this weekend, and then we'll have to get a front end alignment. And very soon here, we are taking the car in to have the brakes looked at.

Nathan's surgery

Well, it's tomorrow morning. Nathan is getting tubes in his ears. We are scheduled to be checking in at 6:45 am. The hospital is half an hour away, so I a getting up at 5:15 to be ready to leave at 6. Jacob is spending the night at my parents, so he won't have to get up early or tag along. He hates hospitals anyway, that and doctors offices. Starts crying as soon as we get near one!

Please pray for a safe operation, steady hands for the doctor, calm nerves for me, and a quick recovery for Nathan. Thanks.

Differences

Well, my new eating habits are making some slight differences. I'm not hungry as often. I don't seem to be craving junk food, which I really thought would be an issue. Since I've been upping my water, my digestive tract has really improved. I have a large 32 ounce cup, and I make sure I get at least two filled with water everyday before 6pm. And the rest of the night I just drink water casually as I'm thirsty. I found this easier than trying to keep track of how many 8 oz cups I've had so far. I lose count eventually. Two big cups is much easier to remember than 8 little cups!

One thing that doesn't seem to be changing is my stress level. I was really hoping I would be able to deal with things better, but I'm not. Of course, I'm still in so much pain, so it doesn't make it easy to deal with anything. I really hope my back will get better once I lose some weight.

My sister, Dawn, hurt her back at work Friday night. She was lifting a box and must have pulled a muscle or something. We aren't sure exactly what is wrong, but she can't walk without support now. Of course all she needs, hopefully, is a good chiropractic adjustment. But being the holiday weekend, no one is available til Tuesday. Poor Dawn, she is in so much pain. I fear we have both inherited bad back problems from my Mom. Please, pray for all of us.

Big Boy

I love going out to breakfast! Breakfast is, without a doubt, my favorite meal of the day. I saw an ad on tv last night for Big Boy. They have a breakfast meal that is $3.99. It includes two eggs, two sausage links, two strips of bacon, hashbrowns, and your choice of toast or hotcakes. Mike and I went out this morning for breakfast there, and it was delicious!!

Of course, now I have to compensate for the day to make up for the hashbrowns. I only allow myself a very little bit of "bad carbs" a day. Bad carbs would be white breads and pasta, white rice, potatoes. It's almost impossible to completely avoid, so I monitor how much I get a day. I even include any meat that is breaded, like chicken nuggets or fried chicken.

It is fairly easy to do. If I want a potato or fries, I use sweet potatoes instead. They are delicous, even better than regular in my opinion. You can do baked, fries, mashed. When I get pasta I buy whole wheat, which is still tricky if it isn't high enough in fiber. I buy long grain brown rice instead of white, which is a hard one for me because I love white rice. Especially when I have chinese, which is another area I need to be careful with. So much chinese food is breaded and deep fried. I love chinese food too! My favorite ethnic food. I could eat it everyday!!! MMMMM, I'm making myself hungry!

Weight loss

Well, I went out and saw Letters to Juliet last night. It was a very good movie. Pretty clean, with some mild language. No nudity or sex scenes, and as far as I recall no sexual references. It is hard to find movies like that anymore. It was a great movie, with some romance mixed in. This is a movie I would like to own.

Well I decided, quite awhile ago, that I need to start losing weight. Unfortunately, I didn't put into practice what it takes to accomplish this. I cut back on what I was eating, but what I did eat wasn't so great for me. And I am not able to exercise very well due to my back problems.
So, I've decided I'm going to stop whining about my weight and do something about it! I can't exercise like I would like to, but there are exercise I can do like walking, going up and down the stairs more often. Mike and I bought a Wii Fit, and it is suppose to have good workouts on there. I am hoping I can find something I will be able to do.
In addition to working out, I have decided to give my eating habits a makeover. Unfortunately I can't just throw out everything in the house that is bad for me, because Jacob will only eat certain things, and Mike won't eat good things at all. So, I have to practice self-control.
One way of doing this is to supply myself with plenty of good food that I should be eating. Sometimes I wander around the kitchen saying "What should I eat?" and grab the first thing I see that looks good. That is usually candy or some kind of junk food. So, I went to the store last night after my movie and bought a bunch of food I should have, everything from breakfast and lunch, to snacks.
Next, I'm going to make a week long menu of what I can have for breakfast, snack, lunch, and snack again. Dinner will be a small portion of whatever I make for the family. This will also help the whole "what to eat" problem. If I already know ahead of time what I'm having that day, I won't need to grab for junk. I bought that Fiber One cereal, because it does actually have alot of fiber in it, and alot less sugar than most of the other "health food" cereals I looked at. Fiber actually slows down the absorption of sugar in your body, so the more you eat, the less sugar you get. It also helps make you feel full, so you aren't starving by your next meal. I also have Raisan Bran, and eggs. Eggs are so good for you, with all the protein. I could have a boiled egg, or an omelet, or scrambled with some fruit on the side. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, because it gets your digestive tract and metabolism working for the day. It also gives you the energy you need, because our bodies derive energy from the food we eat.
Lunches will consist of things like chicken breast, hamburger, tuna fish, egg salad made with olive oil mayonnaise, turkey sandwiches. All sandwiches will be eaten on whole grain bread, high in fiber. A salad or some kind of vegetable will go along with it. I make my own salad dressing to cut down on the sugar and preservatives, and only use romaine lettuce. The darker and leafier the green veggie, the better and more vitamins it has.
Snacks were a toughy for me. We are suppose to be eating 5 smalls meals a day, or 3 meals and 2 snacks. It keeps our blood sugars level at all times, and our energy consistent. I bought two different kinds of Fiber bars, again high in fiber and low in sugar, but it will still make me feel like I am getting to pig out on chocolate! I also got celery that I can put peanut butter on. I can have popcorn, plain no butter or salt, and fruits and raw veggies. This should keep me from binging on junk food.
I'm not saying its going to be easy, after a matter of only a few days, I'm going to start getting tired of all this "healthy food" and want to good stuff. That is partly why I am making this blog, so I can refer back to it and get my resolve back. Another thing I need to do is take a good long look at myself and decide if that junk food is really worth it. Please pray for me!

CSN

There is this really cool website where you can buy practically EVERYTHING!!!!!
I found alot of really great development toys for kids. Go check it out!

http://www.csndaycarefurniture.com/

Bird Feeder

I bought a bird feeder last night. I love watching birds, and we have a beautiful patio with a wonderful view of some wooded area. I can see some birds and squirrels in the trees from the patio, but I wanted a better view. I'm so excited to how many different birds will come to eat from my bird feeder!
Jacob will enjoy it too. He saw a bird out the window the other day, pointed and said "Bid!" He was proud of himself for seeing and properly identifying what he saw. I'm going to set up the feeder today!!!

Mother's day

Happy Mother's day everyone! I a having a wonderful day so far! Last night Mike and I went out for Mothers day, so they boys spent the night with my parents. We went to Ponderosa then saw How to Train Your Dragon in 3D! I've seen this movie already, but wanted to see it in 3D. It was amazing!!!
This morning I got to sleep in, since there were no kids! Mike would have let me sleep in even if the boys were here. When we got up, Mike made me breakfast, and brought it to me in bed! Scrambled eggs, sausage, hashbrowns, biscuits and sausage gravy! Heart attack on a plate! He made so much I couldn't finish it! He also made up coffee for me, something he barely knows how to do so I directed him on that one. He put a hot cocoa package in it and squirted some whip cream on top! Just about as good as a specialty coffee at a coffee shop!
In a little bit we wil be heading over to my parents for dinner. Today is a nice day!

Australia

My oldest sister, Amber, just spent the last two weeks in Australia with my cousins. She is coming home today. Mom, Uncle Mike, the boys and I are going to meet her at the airport and have dinner with her in Grand Rapids. She went all over the country, and I'm sure she has lots of stories to tell. I am so happy she was able to make this trip. It was alot of money, and for awhile she was thinking she shouldn't do it. But hey, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity! She finally made the plunge and bought the tickets! I am sure she is glad she decided to go. I can't wait to hear about her adventures!!!!

Well, Mike and I took Nathan to the DR bc I was worried his ears were getting infected again. His surgery is a month away, and I don't want him being in pain so long. But, the dr. said his ears are fine, only slightly red. Doesn't want to over-antibiotic him! And I agree, as long as there is no infection. So, since we were in Lansing, we met up with a friend of ours for lunch at Steak and Shake. Not my first choice, I would have prefered the chinese buffet. But the guys wanted Steak and Shake. It was nice, steak hamburger and cheese fries. Did a small bit of shopping then headed back to Ionia. It's been a mostly calm day. I'm starting to feel alot better now, as far as my ears and throat go. Back still hurts though. Hopefully I will have more time to check the computer now that I'm better.

Nathan

We saw the specialist yesterday. Nathan has what is called glue ear, which is basically a build up of gunk behind his eardrums. He needs surgery to remove it or he will keep getting ear infections. He will then get tubes to support proper airflow so it will heal. The entire procedure takes about 10 minutes, but we will be there several hours b4 and after. They will give him medicine to take by mouth that will make him extremely drowsy, and will probably fall asleep. Then they will take him back and use gas to ensure he stays out. After the surgery he will go to recovery and wait for him to wake up. I will not be allowed to be with him. They wouldn't even make exceptions for Jacob when he had tubes put it last year. Once he wakes up, they will bring him back to his room and monitor him for at least an hour to be sure there are no reactions to the anesthesia. Once he is fully awake and at least drinking, he will be released. He should be back to his normal self within a day. I've been so worried about how he's been getting so many ear infections, I'm glad I asked our doctor to send him to an E.N.T. Apparently ear problems can be genetic, and I have always had them. I have a really bad ear infection right now. That is why I haven't been on the computer so much lately. I'm in alot of pain, and I keep getting dizzy. Mike's been taking care of the boys since Monday night when I first started getting bad. I almost passed out last night when I bent over to pick something up. I don't have medicaid right now, so I can't get an antibiotic. Please pray this heals up quickly on its own.

Well, up until last night my back was still feeling pretty good. I was being so xtra careful this whole week not to do anything to pull it out. But then I woke up this morning, and it was hurting. I don't know what I did, maybe I slept wrong or something. I had to wake Mike up and have him get Jacob on the bus for me. That was hard for him, bc he saw a midnight movie last night in Lansing with a friend, so he didn't get to bed til really early this morning. So, he hasn't gotten much sleep. I'm afraid I'm going to need him to do alot more for me tonight, bc I am really hurting again. I was starting to think that maybe I was healing. Now I just wonder if I will always be like this.
The party was fun. We had sloppy joes, listened to music, and played Balderdash. It was really nice to be with the old gang, and even nicer to know the old gang must still be interested in hanging out with me!

I'm feeling better today, so far. I saw the chiropractor yesterday, and I've been taking it xtra easy since then. So far I've only carried Nathan from his crib to his changing table, then to the highchair and back to his crib. It doesn't require bending over much to do that. I had Mike get Jacob up and ready for school this morning. I still feel good, but kinda tense. I'm gonna try xtra hard to not do anything, so my back will stay set and heal so I can get back to normal. Please pray everything stays where it should.

I'm going to a party tomorrow night for an old friend from highschool. He got a job in Ann Arbor and is moving there, so we are celebrating his new job and wishing him well. This is more of a family that I'm acquaintances with rather than the one guy. I haven't been very involved with them in many years, and haven't ever been invited anywhere with them. My sisters do things with them all the time, and even though I only live ten minutes away from them, I was never invited. I was shocked when they called me up and asked me to come! I wonder why all of a sudden they want me to join them? It makes me just a little suspicious, but it feels great to know they haven't forgotten about me. Mike's and my close friends go to church with them, and are friends with them. They hang out with them often, so maybe the family decided to invite me along bc of my close friend. Who knows? I just hope I have fun. Mom will be watching the boys so we can go. It is always a blessing to get a night away from the kids and be around just adults!

Birthdays

Today 2 of my cousins are having their birthday parties together. One is turning 12, and the other 14. My how time flies, I was there when they were born! I feel old! Anyways, Mike and I are talking about doing something in Lansing today, since we have to go there for the party anyway. We just haven't decided yet what to do!
I had a nice time yesterday. I went out and saw How to Train Your Dragon, a very cute movie but had some intense scenes for very young kids. Then I went to the local chinese buffet (my favorite cuisine!) and had dinner. Then Mom and Dad invited me to their place to watch Old Dogs that they had rented. We had pizza during the movie. It was also a cute movie, but had some corny acting here and there. I don't remember any scenes that were inappropriate, I would say it's safe to watch with kids around. After that, I went and did some shopping. It was a very relaxing time, I really needed it.

Away

I need a day away. Mike is off today, and I would love to get out by myself. I was hoping to hook up with a friend, the only one that lives close enough to me to travel to. Which is still half hour away! But, I haven't heard back from her. I need to get some shopping done, two of my cousins are having their bday parties together tomorrow. I need to buy them cards. Maybe I could just go do that, then head to Biggby for coffee. I wish I could do something enjoyable, but I never have "my own" spending money. I like to save it, but I never get any to save for days like these.

Sigh

I think this is a fitting title for my blog today. I've been sighing all day, from being tired, in pain, ready for Nathan to sleep, when he wakes up from the shortest nap ever which meant I had to carry him downstairs to get Jake off the bus, and then back up. The only good sigh I had today was when I realized Mike hadn't eaten all the leftover pizza! BTW, Digiorno pizza is good fresh, but not rewarmed. That was another sigh, when I realized that. Mike works late again tonight, which means I again have to get the boys ready for bed. I gave them their baths last night, so tonight will be easier on me. I must sound like the most laziest (sp?) worst mom ever. I complain about having to do things that every Mom must do on a daily basis, even single Moms who work fulltime, sometimes two jobs. I wish I didnt have so many back issues, so I could be a competent mother to my boys. I used to have to work fulltime when Jacob was younger. In fact, for awhile I worked three jobs. One was part time, the others were about 30 hours a week. I got up at 5, went to one job. Then I would turn around and head to my other job. And at the end of the day, I would come home, make dinner for Mike before he went to his part time over night job, pack his lunch for him, and stay up most of the night with Jake. You may not know, but for a long time Jacob only slept at the most 5 hours at a time, and then would be up for about 18 hrs. I'm seriously not kidding you. And for the most part he was healthy and full of energy all the time. And guess when he slept those 5 hrs or so.... That's right, during the day when I was gone. Sigh, again. We were in Florida, so there was no one to help me out, no support, no nothing. It was like that for almost three years of Jacob's life. Then we moved to MI, and all of a sudden I got all the sleep I needed! EVERYONE wanted to be with Jacob, no matter what time of day or night it was. I wish Mike's family had wanted that kind of time and relationship with him. Jacob needed more relationships than with me and Mike. His family just didn't seem interested. I'm glad I had Nathan here, bc now he not only has both his parents, but he has Grandparents, Aunts and cousins who take an active role in his life and Jacob's.

Well, I was suppose to go in to Lansing today to see my Chiropractor. But he called in sick today, so I am still in pain. The more often I get adjusted, the better my back can heal. I have a new appointment for Monday morning, but that seems so far away. I'm glad Mike only works in the morning/afternoon today. He will be home soon to help out. Jacob decided to take a nosedive into Nathan's gate today, and bruised up his nose pretty bad. I, of course, had to come to his rescue and pick him up out of the gate. Now I am really hurting. The boys are being pretty well behaved and quiet right now. They are watching The Wonderful Wizard of Has by VeggieTales. I love VTs bc it teaches good Christian values, and the kids love it! I don't know how much of it Jacob understands, but he sure does love it when Larry falls over!
My day has been fairly productive, I got a load of dishes done! Believe me, for me that is alot right now. I have to bend over so many times to unload the dishwasher, then stand there and make sure everything is rinsed, then bend over to load them all into the dishwasher and put soap in. By the time I'm done, I'm ready for some Motrin and the bed! I'm tired of being in pain.

Spring Break

School has started up for Jacob again. Spring Break was hard for me, and for Jacob. He needs stimulation every day, both physical and mental. I just can't give him the amount of stimulation he needs. So he ends up getting very anxious, and starts stimming (flapping his hands up and down, hitting his face or ears, jumping up and down over and over and over again, humming loudly.) It is hard on him, but as much so on me bc I have to deal with it. And, I also have to deal with a 1 yr. old who is now walking EVERYWHERE! I do what I can with Jake, sing songs with him and dance (as much as I can, my dancing must involve me sitting down) having him play with different toys that have different textures or purposes, read a book with him although he prefers to just look at the pages. I make him stop at each page and point out the different things to him, like the animals, the people, the trees, the buildings. Make him think about what he is looking at. Then I'll ask him to point to the objects in the book I know he can identify, that forces him to seek out and find. I play catch with him, even though its more like throw and bounce away. At Chuck E. Cheese the other night, we had enough tickets to get Jacob these foam blocks that you can mold into shapes. We haven't had a chance to open them up yet, but he never put the box down that night after we bought it! I know he will have fun. Most of what I do with Jake, I have to do sitting down, which makes it more difficult to accomplish the task. Jake needs to move alot, and I can't. I'm glad school is back up, bc he will get the stimulation he needs and he is now back to the schedule he is used to. I dread Summer. He will have Summer school, but last year it was only 2 days a week. I don't know how it will be this year, but he needs more than that. I fear I am going to go completely bonkers this Summer.

Fun?

Ok, Mike has a short day today, so we're going to take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese. Jacob loves it there, and we've still got tokens left over from last time we went there. It should be fun, as long as Nathan doesn't get cranky. He does that alot when we go out.

Bad day

Alright, something is definitely wrong with me. I am just losing it today. I have times where Jacob is happy and laughing, and I get so much joy from it. And then it's like someone turns a switch on me, and I am in a bad mood. Jacob won't stop laughing, and he's loud. Nathan wont stop crying, the house is a mess bc I can't do any housework. My pelvic bone is twisted, and I'm suppose to be letting it heal. Any time I do something, it starts hurting. But then I look around and see the pile of dirty laundry, all the dirty dishes (which is amazing bc we've been ordering in alot lately!) the floor needs to be vacuumed. I get depressed knowing I'm being a bad housewife for not doing the chores, but knowing that I can't do it without hurting myself. My dr told me if I don't take care of myself, I could be disabled in a year. Pretty scary stuff. Yes, Mike was sympathetic at first, took over cooking and watching the kids when he wasn't working. But now I feel like he is getting irritated at having to do it. He won't say it, but its in his attitude. And, it makes me feel worse knowing he is bitter at having to do this, but knowing I can't do it so he has to. When he is at work, I have a hard time moving the kids around, so I've found its easier on me putting the gate up across their bedroom door and making them stay in there and play. I bring them out to eat, and go in there for diaper changes, and I even spend time in there on Jake's bed to watch them play and let them know I haven't left them. But then, while I'm sitting out in the living room, with nothing to do (I don't watch much tv, and the internet only provides so much entertainment) I start feeling like a bad Mom for leaving my kids cooped up all day. I mean, they can roam their room and play with their toys, but they are used to coming and going from their room and the living room and finding me when they want me. I feel as if I'm hurting them somehow. It makes me feel horrible, but there is nothing I can do about it. If I endure the pain and let them roam and chase after them, in a year I might be in a wheelchair and will have no choice but to make them do that all the time. How am I suppose to function when I feel this way?

OK, so I managed to make my first post. No idea if anyone is reading it or not, but it felt good to get it out. Oddly, this feels different than a diary. At least I know I can't lose it as easily! It helped make me feel a bit better yesterday, getting some thoughts out. I think I need to do it again. I'm going nuts today. Neither kids are being very well behaved today, and I feel like I'm going out of my skin. I've heard that alot of parents of Autistic children deal with depression, but I always thought I was above that bc I don't have "issues" with my child having "a severe life-long disability." But, I do sit back sometimes and think about how I will probably always be taking care of Jacob, no matter how old he is, or I am. The problem is, I'm already tired of dealing with things. I can't wait for both kids to be out of diapers, but Jake may never be fully pottytrained. I can't wait for both kids to feed themselves, but Jake is to picky to eat almost anything. I can't wait for them to watch themselves in the morning so I can sleep in, but Jake still climbs in bed with us in the middle of the night. I can't wait for them to clean and bathe and dress themselves, but I have to hold Jake down just to brush his teeth. You see what I mean?

My Beginnings- Never done this

OK, so I know alot of people that have a blog. I always thought it was nice that they had an outlet for their thoughts and feelings, even if no one was listening! I never considered having one myself until today. I was reading a book about how a Mom "Survived" Autism. Her son is autistic, and one of her many advices was to start a blog. I thought, "What a good idea!" So, here goes!

My oldest son, Jacob, is Autistic. He is 5 years old, loving, smart, and doesn't talk. He does sing! He doesn't like most regular food, he is a picky eater. Most people don't get that. They say, "Oh, let him go hungry. He'll learn to eat his food." Not so! I usually agree with that methodology, but with Jacob it doesn't work. He will go hours without food, and then not understand the hunger pain and why he has it. This presents a challenging health issue. How do you make an autistic child eat healthy? Jacob won't eat his veggies, unless we're at the Chinese restaurant. He won't eat meat unless it is breaded. He won't eat hotdogs unless they are cooked in the toaster oven or grilled on a George Foreman grill. He does like his fruit though, and knows the names of all his favorites. Appoo (Apple) Nana (Banana) Orne (Orange) Peecees (Peaches) And, he likes pop! Sodapop for you Southerners! One thing I am happy about though, he will drink his water. At least until he sees someone else with pop. He refuses to even try milk. Not even chocolate milk. I'm not terribly worried about the whole milk issue, but I have been presented with the question of "What about his Vitamin D?" I know you can get it through fish oils, like tuna. But, he doesn't like fish! *Sigh* You see my problem? Any suggestions?