Sigh

I think this is a fitting title for my blog today. I've been sighing all day, from being tired, in pain, ready for Nathan to sleep, when he wakes up from the shortest nap ever which meant I had to carry him downstairs to get Jake off the bus, and then back up. The only good sigh I had today was when I realized Mike hadn't eaten all the leftover pizza! BTW, Digiorno pizza is good fresh, but not rewarmed. That was another sigh, when I realized that. Mike works late again tonight, which means I again have to get the boys ready for bed. I gave them their baths last night, so tonight will be easier on me. I must sound like the most laziest (sp?) worst mom ever. I complain about having to do things that every Mom must do on a daily basis, even single Moms who work fulltime, sometimes two jobs. I wish I didnt have so many back issues, so I could be a competent mother to my boys. I used to have to work fulltime when Jacob was younger. In fact, for awhile I worked three jobs. One was part time, the others were about 30 hours a week. I got up at 5, went to one job. Then I would turn around and head to my other job. And at the end of the day, I would come home, make dinner for Mike before he went to his part time over night job, pack his lunch for him, and stay up most of the night with Jake. You may not know, but for a long time Jacob only slept at the most 5 hours at a time, and then would be up for about 18 hrs. I'm seriously not kidding you. And for the most part he was healthy and full of energy all the time. And guess when he slept those 5 hrs or so.... That's right, during the day when I was gone. Sigh, again. We were in Florida, so there was no one to help me out, no support, no nothing. It was like that for almost three years of Jacob's life. Then we moved to MI, and all of a sudden I got all the sleep I needed! EVERYONE wanted to be with Jacob, no matter what time of day or night it was. I wish Mike's family had wanted that kind of time and relationship with him. Jacob needed more relationships than with me and Mike. His family just didn't seem interested. I'm glad I had Nathan here, bc now he not only has both his parents, but he has Grandparents, Aunts and cousins who take an active role in his life and Jacob's.