Thursday, April 8, 2010
OK, so I managed to make my first post. No idea if anyone is reading it or not, but it felt good to get it out. Oddly, this feels different than a diary. At least I know I can't lose it as easily! It helped make me feel a bit better yesterday, getting some thoughts out. I think I need to do it again. I'm going nuts today. Neither kids are being very well behaved today, and I feel like I'm going out of my skin. I've heard that alot of parents of Autistic children deal with depression, but I always thought I was above that bc I don't have "issues" with my child having "a severe life-long disability." But, I do sit back sometimes and think about how I will probably always be taking care of Jacob, no matter how old he is, or I am. The problem is, I'm already tired of dealing with things. I can't wait for both kids to be out of diapers, but Jake may never be fully pottytrained. I can't wait for both kids to feed themselves, but Jake is to picky to eat almost anything. I can't wait for them to watch themselves in the morning so I can sleep in, but Jake still climbs in bed with us in the middle of the night. I can't wait for them to clean and bathe and dress themselves, but I have to hold Jake down just to brush his teeth. You see what I mean?